skylarks bathe in puddled tombs
sipping lost refrains
there stands the silent cypress
rooted and rising the song
The above is a tanka. For more on this Japanese poem form I recommend this introduction from the AHA Poetry site. I am linking this post at the current One Stop Poetry Form post, where you can read more haiku and tanka poems by other participants by clicking here.
I like the play of skylarks drinking new songs in the place of the dead. They rise from the earth, and its cycle of decay and new life, just as the cypress do. Never-ending song!ReplyDelete
The stunning painting and these wonderful words have such a gorgeous resonance for me - such bright colours against the greys of a graveyard. Thanks, Lorenzo.ReplyDelete
Lovely and lyrical, Lorenzo. The contrast of the mortal with the eternal is beautifully sustained.ReplyDelete
nicely done tanka...the flow is great in each and all together...and rather nice imagery...lady nyo just did a teachin on tanka for us about a week ago...ReplyDelete
Klimit is immense too. It seems to be my favourite word today :-)ReplyDelete
The elements of the sturdy tombs and cypress against the flight of skylark and song, and all around our ankles falls our transience marked against the light of a new day. So so much held in so few lines. I think about the bulging life inside of even a dew drop.ReplyDelete
I can only add thanks for this beauty. The others have said it all. "Rooted and rising the song." Ah...ReplyDelete
Hi, Ruth, my dear partner in the Rilke adventure. I am sure you have seen some of Rainer Maria’s influence on me in this poem. I think he was twittering in my ear as much as the skylarks, especially in the rooted and rising.ReplyDelete
I had never seen this Klimt painting before, Elisabeth, and it definitely piqued my interest. I think it is in a private collection; I would really like to be able to see it sometime.
Thanks, Maureen, that contrast was very present in my mind and in what I tried to capture here. Though set in a graveyard I feel it is a hopeful piece.
Hey, Brian, I really got a lot out of what Lady Nyo and moondustwriters and others have been doing on One Stop on tanka. In fact, this was a new poem form for me, so I really needed the teach-in. I am heartened that you say the flow is good in each part. As you know, but I have just learned, tanka poems have five lines, often but not necessarily of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. What I found difficult was that the first three lines should stand on their own as a haiku, and the last three should also stand on their own, and, of course, the entire 5 lines should read well. So there are three interrelated poems. The 3rd line is thus crucial and serve as the pivot — “sipping lost refrains” is thus the last line of one of the internal poems and the first line of the other. I found that to be the hardest part. Despite its seeming simplicity, a tanka can be very difficult to write and I worked quite a bit on this one. In each of the three poems, a different reading can be given of the source of the song —the skylarks, which only sing when in flight— or the cypress; the same can be said of what is sipping the lost refrains…
Anyway, I enjoyed it and appreciate all you and others at One Stop are doing to encourage interest in different poets and poem forms.
you painted a beautifully touching picture with your words.ReplyDelete
Beautiful, and awesomely crafted, Lorenzo - I appreciated your elucidating words about the tanka form.ReplyDelete
I'm a sucker for Klimt, tankas, and cypress trees, grew up with a row of them in my backyard (we often hit our tennis balls into them and never could recover them all).ReplyDelete
My fave lines of this were:
"there stands the silent cypress
rooted and rising the song."
Glad you're joining One Shot Wednesdays (via One Stop Poetry blog), it's a tremendous group of poets!
Very well done! The pivot at line three works so well.ReplyDelete
Aloha from Waikiki
Here's your friggin' compliment, you back-scratcher, you: This Emperor appears to be clothed.ReplyDelete
I hope people figure out what we're talking about. That could be interpreted rather badly.
Beautiful, Lorenzo! I've been sidelined for several weeks, but it's great to return to this little jewel that you have given us. I know nothing about the tanka form, but I love what you have done with it. I also love the Klimt painting.ReplyDelete
What a beautiful image, I love Klimt.ReplyDelete
How could death be so beautiful? Grief makes it so, I think ... The Klimt painting, I think, is all that soars because of those graves, because of the loss ... A perfect pair. - BrendanReplyDelete
nice juxtaposition of art forms. i would not have associated tanka with art nouveau, but why not? the klimt is a gem, with the rising cypress.ReplyDelete
Wow. Very nice. Death and Life balancing the other...ReplyDelete