Monday, March 15

Stella by starlight ...

It is often said that we men are incapable of doing two things at once. This strikes me as grossly unfair, patently absurd and obviously untrue, given that few people would question our ability, say, to drink and make fools of ourselves all at the same time. So in that spirit I have decided to do a combination post for TFE's current poetry bus prompt at The People's Lost Republic of EEJit and for willow's Magpie Tales 5.

TFE's instructions were that we had to begin a poem with the memorable lines ...
"She was wearing Stella McCartney,
I was drinking Stella Artois"
... to which he added the helpful information that "If anyone from Mars or Carlow are looking in, Stella McCartney is a fashion designer and daughter of famous ex Beatle, Ringo Starr. Stella Artois is a Belgian medicinal cure for warts and walking straight."

And the Magpie Tales 5 prompt was the 'handy' photo shown above.

So drum roll please ... and here goes — two things at once, neither of them very meaningful on their own, but when combined, completely and utterly useless and irredeemably forgettable.

Maniacal mannequin Belgian beer blues

she was wearing Stella McCartney,
I was drinking Stella Artois
for weeks I would steal away nightly
through mad glass wondering who art thou?

by day she was clad in designer clothes
at night she was my naked nymph to behold
a wave of her hand from where no hair grows
hailing my taxi her body unrobed

yesterday Stella’s head and hands were gone
Venus de Milo with a dinosaur smile
imagine the delight in my love song
when I spotted her hand in the trash pile

her hand beckoned me to blessed wedlock
so I brought her home on the ides of march
to open bottles of Belgian hemlock
happily saved from fashion’s tides of starch

so now we stay at home and drink serene
squeezing the juice of tedium’s lemons
to wash and paint my yellow submarine
the handiest cure for delirium tremens

now I am wearying Stella McCartney
and she is stinking of Stella Artois

Well, I apologize for that and if you think yourselves capable of doing two things at the same time, I encourage you to go visit Magpie Tales 5 here and TFE's poetry bus here and see what other participants have done with these prompts.


  1. I love this take - very unique!
    Well multitasked

  2. Oh, this is strange- but in a good way!
    Lemons / tremens candidate no 3 (or 4 ,I've lost count) for rhyme of the century!
    And 'squeezing the juice of tediums lemons'is stand alone genius! Welcome aboard The Bus!

  3. Aw, everyone always mentions the lines I want to highlight "squeezing the juice of tedium’s lemons" - cracking! A weirly quirky but strangely compelling pome.

  4. Multi-skilled alright. To be able to weave together the demands of two blogs is a high achievement indeed.

  5. Beware the Ides of March! Kudos for combining the Magpie and da Bus. I tried it once and it was harder than you'd think! Well done. (Fabulous second pic, by the way.)

  6. Lorenzo

    Aren't you clever indeed, you are
    One of a kind,filling me with magical delirium - you color my world, and bring a Chesire smile to my lips,Taking me back to the 60's in the yellow submarine..

    Delightful and humorous take, loved it

  7. lol. thanks for redeeming us males to at least being able to accomplish 2 things at once...a bit of an odd tale...and did you end up in womens clothing? err...

  8. You have me laughing! Rather brilliant take on the two themes, I'd say.

    "...two things at once, neither of them very meaningful on their own, but when combined, completely and utterly useless and irredeemably forgettable."

    I expected to like it as soon as I read these lines! I often write like this myself.

  9. I agree with TFE,'squeezing the juice of tediums lemons'is stand alone genius! The title is inspired. You've crossed gender lines. Beautifully done, you multi-tasking man among men! Now, here, go don your Stella McCartney.

  10. Well done, Lorenzo and thanks for the chuckle.

  11. Great take on the subject, had to look back at the photograph to realise where it was going. Really like the venus do milo reference, very clever.
    thanks for sharing

  12. Amusing, I'm still laughing; wonderful imagery. Nice work with two prompts.

  13. Wonderful images! Venus de Milo with a dinosaur smile... the juice of tedium's lemons! Excellent take on TWO prompts!

  14. Well, a bit of trans-dressing never hurt anyone..could you do more tasks?
    This is a very fun take..thank you!

  15. lol -- well done indeed. a challenge i would not take on.

  16. This was killer. Enjoyed it, thank you for sharing…
    Image & Verse

  17. Pretty funny take on both subjects. Love the part about seeing her hand in the trash.

  18. I apologize. I am incapable of surfing the Internet and reading at the same time.

    Stella who?

  19. Ah hilarious!! And quite unique.
    I take my hat off to you, sir / madam.

  20. Aaaaah! This is wonderful! Great job--you're quite the multi-tasker, I'll give you that. And yes--that second photo is awesome. Take a bow...

    I thoroughly enjoyed hearing about your daughter at Tiffany's, too. Sweet.

  21. Lorenzo:

    thanks for the comment -- I am as curious a cat -- with as many lives... I had not read that book -- but looked it up -- oh my! it would make a great little spin off for a magpie -- don't you agree??? I think Merricat would agree.


  22. 'Tedium's lemons' is a lovely pairing.

  23. You did a good job with this as i would ahve been totally stumped. A poem even. whoa.


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